Thursday, February 10, 2011

Disneyland - Bamboo-zled and Elephant-ized

A dead spot in the Jungle lies just after the scene where the gorillas trash the safari camp.
I mention thinking the battery was dead on my Jeep, but am happy to see that the apes tried and tried - and were finally able to get it to turn over.
Downbeat, two, three.
And over on our left you can see an amazing array of jungle bamboo.
Our botanist says it can grow SIX stories tall!  SIX stories!
(Leaning out the boat and gazing upward)
I dunno, to me it looks like SEVEN stories, but you know something, folks?
Downbeat, two, three.

That's another story altogether...I really don't want to go into it right now.
Hey, speaking of bamboo, did you know it is one of the most dangerous and sneaky plants of the Jungle?
While our Jungle trees may have roots and bark. And Jungle flowers, poisonous blossoms.
As for BAMBOO, it stalks, shoots and leaves.
Three, four.
You folks are lucky!  That one went over right your heads!
Missed you by THAT much.
Just ahead is Schweitzer Falls.  Not to worry if you forget its name...
...as we'll be going over it again later.
We've entered the Nile River of Africa, and I'm sure you're still wildly interested in bamboo trivia.
Did you know bamboo...
...is the one of the world's tallest grasses?
...can be made into homes, furniture, shoes, food, clothing and paper?
...comes in green, red, black, brown, yellow and blue?
...has a higher tensile strength than many alloys of steel?
...is the fastest growing plant on earth?
...has been around for over 200 million years?
LOOK!! (pointing wildly) GOOD HEAVENS-- An African Bull ELEPHANT!!
Second most feared animal in the Jungle.
Of course the MOST FEARED ANIMAL IN THE JUNGLE is over on there on the bank to our right...
...that's his Mother-In-Law.
(variations)
...that's his attorney.
...that's his cousin Harold.
...that's his accountant.
...that's his principal.
...that's his orthodontist.
...that's his evil twin - Skippy.
...that's his dental hygienist.
...that's his brother-in-law, Eddie.
...that's his guidance counselor.
...that's his pilates instructor.
...that's his congressman.
...that's his seventh grade algebra teacher!

Okay.  Okay.
Enough!

---Mike 

2 comments:

Anne said...

HAHAHA. I love all of the variations on his mother in law!

dmorrone said...

Haven't heard any of the variations other than "mother-in-law," in both locations....