Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Disneyland - Easy There, Mickey!

The massive Walt Disney Company is a different animal from the company I first encountered in my youth.

And now it's likely to be the first company anyone encounters in their youth!

I saw an article today on Yahoo! about modern Disney's kinda creepy new scheme to get new customers before they can even ingest solid foods or articulate the simplest of words.

The Company is literally trying to stick newborn babies in "Disney Cuddly Bodysuits," while coddling new moms who are still suffering the after effects of oxytocin and epidural anesthesia.
Whoa, Mickey!  Hold your horses!! (No offense, Clarabelle).
Methinks there be plenty o' time to cull wee lads and lassies into the warm grip of Disneydom.
Let's at least allow mom and child a little time to get acquainted post-partum before blowing into the maternity ward like an overzealous mother-in-law or great aunt that knows EVERYTHING about caring for a newborn.
"Careful, dear, be sure to support the head!  SHHH!  No sudden noises!  I ALWAYS went right to formula---no child of mine was going to starve trying to breast feed!  Who swaddled this child??  That blanket is so loose the baby will suffocate in it!  Why aren't you using CLOTH diapers??  Those plastic things are so alien.  Desitin??  Why Vaseline was all we had and it was all we needed!  When is the last time you changed the baby?  Oh!  Those socks are ridiculous!  They're much too big!  Look, the baby's already kicked one off.  They're prone to catch pneumonia that way!  Here, let ME hold him/her---THIS is how you do it.  Who's Aunty's little buttercup??  Who's Aunty's little buttercup??  See?  He/she just LOVES me!  Oh dear, does someone have a spit rag---the little angel just spit up all over Aunty's favorite blouse!  Oh, breast milk!!  See?  It upsets their stomach!  That's why I ALWAYS went right to formula..."
And so on.
It doesn't take a Baby Einstein to see that this scheme is a touch over the top, even in today's wildly invasive and prolific marketplace.
We have three children of our own, and we certainly did not need Disney's help in developing them into raging fans by the time they could take their first, uncertain little steps.
I mean, from their first bedding, to their clothing, to the mobile above their tiny heads, to their bottles and bibs, their strollers, car seats and room decor, it is not like we as a society have deprived our children of a healthy initial dose of Disney.
Disney's most recent move looks like something that is going to backfire.
There are already articles blossoming across the web that are negatively panning this marketing scheme.
I couldn't resist joining in the fracas from the moment I saw the article this morning.
Enough already!!!

Stay dry and comfortable, my friends.  Try powdering with every diaper change.