Thursday, October 16, 2008

Disneyland - Jungle Cruise - Skulls - Idaho?

I don't know, something about human skulls at the main entrance to your attraction's queue makes it seem more...


In 1987 you passed by an assortment of skulls as you entered the thatched queue of the Jungle Cruise.

You were struck with anticipation of the possible perils you would face.

You were taken aback by such stark reminders of your own mortality amidst the fun of a theme park.

You were intrigued by the mystery of venturing into dark, overgrown regions...

Today, however...

...not so much.

Oh, sure, there's still adventure, but perhaps we're missing something.

Why is it that the Park has to be so darned sanitized?

Sometimes in all the wrong places.

O.K., they should be sanitized.

Jungle Cruise entrances?

Not so much, thanks.

Food service locations?

Sanitize please.

The Pirates of the Caribbean?



Main Street, where the horses pee at the top of the Hub?

This you can sanitize.

The rain forest scene from the Small World?

Again, no.

Of course, real life just keeps getting more adventuresome (and less sanitary) by the day!

One more wild stock market swing and I swear I'm investing in canned goods, a shotgun, potable water and a compound in Idaho.

At least when it all goes down, I'll be in Idaho.

With canned goods.

And water.

And a weapon.

On second thought, maybe I'll buy more Disney stock.

On margin.

With money from my home equity line.

After cashing out my 401k.

[Editor's Note: We apologize for the random nature of today's post and are working to rectify the technical difficulties which have brought it to you. In other words: "Playful spooks have temporarily interrupted our tour. Please remain seated in your Doom Buggy. Our tour will resume momentarily."]