Friday, September 19, 2008

Disneyland - Jungle Cruise - Unload Corn

The following bit of Jungle junk was tucked in the "comments" section as a response by me to an earlier post, but I guess it's worth a separate post--if only for the sheer "ugh!" of the corny jokes. I figure, if I had to suffer through this, then so should you.

When our boat arrived at the dock after journeying through the dark jungle waters, I would launch into one of many "exit spiels," including this one:

"Well folks, that's our trip. I really enjoyed taking each of you through the jungle.
I hope you enjoyed being taken.

As we say farewell, please don't be strangers---I work with enough strange people already...

(At the dock)
Now, all you crusty adventurers, rise like bread.
No loafing about.
Please exit the boat.
But don't go off half-baked,
even if you thought these stale jokes were crumb-y.
They're the yeast I can do.
Sorry for any mix ups.
I promise to do butter next time.
I didn't mean to cause a stir.
Any way you slice it,
this monologue is a recipe for disaster.
I milk it for all its worth and still end up with egg on my face.
But I take it all with a grain of salt.
And, sifting through it, pick up kernels of wisdom along the way.
Sure, I may get battered,
since this job is no cakewalk.
But I can't let that frost me.
Because I really need the dough.

Hey, don't stop me now,

I'm on a ROLL.

Thank you! Enjoy your day here at Walt Disney's Magic Kingom!"