Friday, September 19, 2008

Disneyland - Jungle Cruise - Unload Corn

The following bit of Jungle junk was tucked in the "comments" section as a response by me to an earlier post, but I guess it's worth a separate post--if only for the sheer "ugh!" of the corny jokes. I figure, if I had to suffer through this, then so should you.

When our boat arrived at the dock after journeying through the dark jungle waters, I would launch into one of many "exit spiels," including this one:

"Well folks, that's our trip. I really enjoyed taking each of you through the jungle.
I hope you enjoyed being taken.

As we say farewell, please don't be strangers---I work with enough strange people already...

(At the dock)
Now, all you crusty adventurers, rise like bread.
No loafing about.
Please exit the boat.
But don't go off half-baked,
even if you thought these stale jokes were crumb-y.
They're the yeast I can do.
Sorry for any mix ups.
I promise to do butter next time.
I didn't mean to cause a stir.
Any way you slice it,
this monologue is a recipe for disaster.
I milk it for all its worth and still end up with egg on my face.
But I take it all with a grain of salt.
And, sifting through it, pick up kernels of wisdom along the way.
Sure, I may get battered,
since this job is no cakewalk.
But I can't let that frost me.
Because I really need the dough.

Hey, don't stop me now,

I'm on a ROLL.

Thank you! Enjoy your day here at Walt Disney's Magic Kingom!"



Anonymous said...

Very clever and fun thank you for making me smile

Silver Ranger said...

Nice piece Mike!
I enjoy reading your blog =)

egebs said...

Thank you for the laugh

Anonymous said...

Great Blog!!!Have a nice weekend.po szkole

work4pay said...

Wow! This is a different kind of blog. Keep it up!

AKO.SI.RETZ said...

Hi... jzt dropping by =)

Tashai said...

Funny! The jungle cruise is a bit "old school" for me now...but I used to love it as a kid. One of my dreams was to be an Disney imagineer!

Anonymous said...

Oh lord, haha, but when I was a kid I used to love funny speeches like that! cool blog, keep it up...

Steve Cadwell said...

Congratulations on being a Blog of Note. I'm glad I found my way here.

Very punny bread prose.

Miss M. said...

Thanks for all the writing, and all the pictures. It makes me long days at work, not so long. Thank you, thank you!

Keep 'em coming!

Darth Rob said...

Wow, that comment about Nepal is the reason we have comment moderation. Oh and about your blog, I've never been to a Disney park, but reading your blog is a good substitute.

Piedmont Reptile Rescue said...

Enjoyed the comedy. Keep "rising" to the occasion!

Mike said...

Thanks, all. If I can spread but a spark of joy...
...I might catch this boat on fire. This thing runs on diesel, you know.

Oh, and Darth Rob, I deleted the spammer post from Nepal. Somehow it got by the spamblocker stuff. Ah, the Internet...

Don't get me wrong, I love Nepal. It's very "Indiana Jones"-ish.

Em said...

I love Disneyland heart and soul. My family and I also have what we call a "Disneyland Walk". How funny that other families have the same things...must be a small world...

Anonymous said...

Again, a marvelous one!! thanks friend, keep it up..i really enjoy your writings!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I remember that spiel, or one much like it from a high school (or earlier) trip.

From your dates, i dont think we overlapped, but i sure enjoy your memories. nice to see how much they tally with mine.

lucky for you to have worked there.