Disneyland - Is it just me or...?

Is it just me or...

• does anything else come close to a view of the castle as you're walking down Main Street?
• are the ducks in the Rivers of America among the luckiest in the world?
• does anything beat warm popcorn fresh from the pan at any of the Park's popcorn carts?
• could you just ride Big Thunder over and over (and still have a blast?)?
• does hitting the target above the mine in the Frontierland shooting gallery give you one of the best animated results in the place?
• is the buffet in Storytellers over at the Grand Californian one of the best "fast food" options around the park?
• is the tiny Pinocchio's village at Storybookland just begging to be looked at more closely, no matter how many times you've seen it?
• is the Park looking cleaner overall as you walk through it lately?
• does the Swiss Family need to regroup and launch a raid to kick Tarzan out of their treehouse?
• are admission prices getting a little wacky? A family of four needs to open an escrow just to get in these days, seems to me.
• have the parades been a little predictable and flat? We need more energy, creativity and effective use of the characters!!
• does Mr. Smee's pants make his butt look big?
• is Minnie in her cute pumps and skirt simply irresistible?
• is it about time to hit the buzzer at Club 33 and announce that our party has arrived for drinks and dinner?
• is it always the case that the hotter the day, the more crowded the line and the less the amount of available airflow, the more likely I am to be standing behind a guy from a country where the powerful effectiveness of deodorant has yet to be discovered or accepted?
• isn't the Tiki Room lanai something you NEED to build in your backyard? Come on over for a barbeque and some mai tais!
• do the current batch of tram operators have difficulty clearly enunciating over the PA microphone? (Hello, welco...board...isneylan...tram...hands...arms...well back in your seats...driver, your turn is clear...lef han si and lef han si, only...)
• is there anything worse than a Jungle skipper whose PA mike volume is turned up way too high? (Think the adults who speak in Charlie Brown cartoons);
• does Toontown need a paint job? How about a do-over?
• has Buzz Lightyear worn out his welcome in the Circle Vision Theater building?
  
• shouldn't the Peoplemover, at the very least, be allowed to make a comeback? (Later we can talk about the Skyway...)
• does Adventureland/Frontierland need another restroom facility?
  
• does using the Plaza Pavillion for an annual pass photograph station rather than a restaurant seem like a colossal waste?
• is the smell from the corn dog wagon dangerously intoxicating?
• can we be done with Fantasmic now and go back to evenings of a little peace, quiet and jazz in New Orleans Square? (Hey, how 'bout moving Fantasmic over to the Disneyland Hotel? Just a thought.)
• is the old Tahitian Terrace and Aladdin show location kind of a waste of space currently? Um...let's think about putting something of value in here, eh?
• does everyone use the little walkway from Frontierland to Plaza Gardens to avoid pedestrian traffic jams?
• does the hair stand up on the back of your neck, too, during the flag retiring ceremony on Main Street when the armed services are acknowledged and the Disneyland Band plays patriotic tunes?
• does every Disney merchandise location sell exactly the same stuff as every other Disney merchandise location, inside the Park and out?
• have you, too, had enough of this silly list?

---Mike

Disneyland - Fall is in the air in Southern California; Thoughts During Rough Times

Boy, if you could have called in sick today (and live in Southern California), it was a perfect, overcast, cool morning and day for a trip to the Park.
After smoldering through 100+ degree days over the past weeks, the return of moisture is a welcome gift.
This is about as "fall" as we get here.
We are not in Indiana or Pennsylvania or Maine or Wisconsin, where the crisp chill sets in the air and the leaves turn colors.
I sure miss that, I must say.
Of course, the coming winter months are hard and the holidays can be even harder for people in tough financial straits.
Today I offer up a prayer for all of those across our country who are without work and struggling to get by.
If I could waive a wand like the Fairy Godmother or sprinkle some pixie dust or pop us all into a chalk pavement picture, I would definitely call for prosperity, peace, communities and an economy that functioned like they're supposed to.
I would seek a return to Main Street, U.S.A., where families earned enough to get by and people tended to help each other out a bit.
Turn of the Century America was no picnic, I know.
But we built things back then. And grew them.
We learned things, too.
People were tougher and smarter, overall.
They had to be.
Sadly, here at Jungle HQ my powers are limited to keystrokes and stale old stories.
That magic powder Trader Sam gave to me only seems to cause sneezing fits. It never works.
Without such gimmicks I am left to pray and hope for all of us.
Perhaps this little corner of the Internet sits like a candle on a windowsill, providing a spot of warmth for weary travelers.
Disneyland memories help lift us out of the mundane realities we face each day, if only for a moment or two.
It was always my approach while skippering my Jungle boat to try and brighten people's day, just a little, somehow. Without being sappy, fawning or fake (nothing worse than people who "try too hard" in this arena---it never works).
It wasn't always with a joke (Lord knows, you've all heard the jokes).
Sometimes just taking a moment to talk directly to a guest and find out a little about them was enough to crack the ice.
A wave or a wink or a smile to somebody in the back of the boat---to let them know I saw them back there---would often be rewarded with return waves and smiles.
Kids.
I'm a sucker for kids.
To be honest, more often than not, my day was brightened more than I could ever hope to brighten anyone else's.
I loved to watch the wide eyes of the youngest victims on my boat.
To them, the Jungle was truly amazing!
Elephants, gorillas and crocodiles! Oh my!
Anyhow, thanks to you loyal readers for sticking with us here.
Sam and I are digging around the hut looking for new material most days.
Sometimes we find stuff.
Sometimes you poor folks get random drivel.
I have a Southern California feeling this fall weather won't last. I hear the weekend is supposed to warm back up into the 80s and 90s.
Swell.
I've got to get back to HQ---seems our latest shipment of malaria kits were filled with placebo pills!
This is odd, as there hasn't been a documented case of placebo in the Jungle in over three months!

Cheers!

---Mike

Disneyland - Today, Things We Like

Occasionally, here at Jungle headquarters, I find myself engaging in remembrances of things past.
However, we are commissioned by our Creator to live in the now.
So let me not pine over yesterday, but take a few moments to look at things as they are now, today.
If I took you to the Park today, what we would enjoy most?
I suppose that I could take you to Baskin Robbins' 31 Flavors ice cream shop and ask the same question---with the same myriad results.
Some would say "Lemon Custard," others "vanilla," still others, "Jamocha Almond Fudge."
It is true.
You cannot argue matters of taste, generally speaking.
Nonetheless, I will throw out a few of my personal favorites at the Park.
It's my blog, after all.
You are but its hapless victims.

So, after we get there, I say we go over to Indiana Jones.
You want theming?
You want a queue that is almost as good as the ride itself?
You want to start your day in Adventureland?
You want to channel your inner Harrison Ford?
Let us go, then.
As for me, it is always a front row seat behind the steering wheel.
It is a marvelous attraction.
You are definitely immersed in its world from start to climactic finish.
It's got everything: great soundtrack, music, sets, animation, ride vehicle, thrills, etc.
I still duck as phantom "poison darts" blast past me on puffs of air.
It is also always a relief to get out from under that darn boulder and to see Indy wiping his brow at the end, with the dust still settling.
And as we exit the attraction, we step outside the Temple of Mara and onto a walkway that parallels the magnificent Jungle Cruise.
If we stop here awhile, we will no doubt become part of the spiel of the next skipper who pilots his boat by us.
"Over to the right hand side of the boat, we can see a few choice examples of a strange bipedal species that frequents this area. Don't make any sudden moves! There's no telling what they are capable of! The big ones are scary enough, but those little ones! Sure, they look cute and cuddly, but let me tell you, they can latch on to an adult for 18 to 26 years and bleed them dry! Trust me, I have three of 'em."

Next, let's take an early morning Monorail trip.
Monorail?
Well, it's not too crowded this time of day (at least at the Tomorrowland station), so what better time to ride it?
We'll cruise over Tomorrowland and get a great view as we head out of the Park and back to the Disney Walk station.
The sleek new trains, with their window-facing bench seats, are comfortable and the views are great.
We can hop back on and enjoy the return trip into the Park.

Okay, so we're back.
We're in Tomorrowland and it is still fairly early.
Let's grab some coffee and a danish or something to enjoy while we wait in line for "Finding Nemo." It is still cool, so even though the wait will be around 30 to 40 minutes, we'll be comfortable. The line only gets hotter and longer as the day progresses.
Though not for the claustrophobes in our group, the "Finding Nemo" attraction is well done and utterly enjoyable.
Sure, it can be a little dark and scary for the younger ones---whom you might choose to keep off of this one. (Picture a howling, terrified four-year-old in a dark submarine with at least six minutes left of the ride before you can get off and a sub full of guests a bit nonplussed over the commotion---sound like fun?).
However, most kids love Nemo and are more than capable of weathering the ride without incident.
Mine, for example, are simply fearless of anything a Disney park can throw at them.
A Disney park threw their dad at them, and they got past that, so nothing can scare them now.

A third, and final, suggestion for today's post: the Mark Twain.
Wait, isn't that boring?
Perhaps, for some.
For me, though, the refurbished Rivers of America are well worth a smooth trip around Tom Sawyer's Island.
The Mark Twain is a classic, and it, too, has been neatly refurbished.
In the mornings it is not too crowded and the cool air over its decks is invigorating.
Grab a comfortable seat and watch New Orleans Square glide by.
Look around you.
You could almost swear, by the time you reach the Hungry Bear Restaurant, that you have left California behind and are somewhere in the backwoods of a Mississippi River offshoot.
If you grabbed a refill of your coffee or soft drink, you can casually sip it while enjoying the view from the Mark Twain's deck.
If you are really ambitious, and one of the first groups to board, you can run up to the top deck and knock on the cabin door just below the wheelhouse.
The captain just might open it and let you in.
Then you'll get a chance to join him up in the wheelhouse---a rare treat that is worth the effort!
If you have youngsters, they'll get to steer the boat and pull on the steam whistle and ring the bell. They will even get a Pilot's Certificate at the end of the trip.
Even if you don't get to the wheelhouse, the relaxing morning trip on the river is its own reward.

I'll leave it at that for now.

Enjoy your next trip to the Park.
May you have many, many more!

---Mike

Disneyland - Jungle Cruise - 1981 Article

So, I pulled out my collection of Disney News magazines the other day and found this fabulous cover art (by famed Disney artist, Charles Boyer) depicting the Jungle Cruise as it existed before Indiana Jones.
To the right side of the picture, you can see the hornbill and two crocs at the first turn after the "rain forest."
"Old Smiley" (the oldest and laziest crocodile in these parts; he just sits along the river waiting for a handout, so please keep your hands and arms inside the boat at all times) is around the next bend to the port side, not far from the ancient shrine defended by an enormous spider.
The baboon family (Pat, Debbie, Bob, Daniel) are back at their old perch along the small waterfalls just before the African Veldt scene (they've since been moved to a spot just after the squirting elephant and before the safari camp invaded by gorillas).
The old thatched Jungle queue and ticket booth can be seen along the bottom right.

This great cover illustration appeared on the Winter 1981/82 cover of Disney News (Vol. 17, No. 1). At pages 8 and 9 of this issue, we find the following article on the Jungle Cruise which I felt compelled to share with you fine people. These pages are large when you click on them, so you can read them more easily. Ah, it makes the fire inside burn for a hand on the boat throttle, a hand on the P.A. microphone and a boat full of guests!

Thanks for joining me today in the Jungle.
I'd also like to take a moment, if I may, to thank...
...my legs---for always supporting me;
...my arms---for always being at my side; and
last, but certainly not least,
...my fingers and toes...
I know that I can always count on them!

---Mike

Disneyland - Fastest Ride Lines

Okay, I needed a quick topic for today, so I chose something fast---the fastest lines with shortest average wait times---without a FastPass.

This is not scientific and is not based upon actual data from the Park's operations department, but I'll bet I'm not too far off from the real wait time averages.

So, you're at the Park on an average day with about 35,000 of your fellow guests pounding the pavement with you.
You want to take in an attraction, but all the FastPasses are used up or you cannot wait for the next FastPass time to ride.
Where do you go for the shortest wait in line?
You want air conditioning?
Head to Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room or Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln. The shows run at regular intervals and even at their most crowded your wait time is like 15 minutes max.
You have young children?
Winnie the Pooh is waiting.
This queue consistently funnels guests into Pooh's adventures at a pretty good clip.
It's no Country Bear Jamboree, but such is life in modern Disneyland, my friends.
Folks in your group gung-ho for some roller coaster action?
Believe it or not, the Matterhorn beckons.
Especially when both sides of the mountain are running (as is usually the case), the Matterhorn queue---though it looks long, moves pretty quickly for an "E-Ticket" attraction. Jump in line by the Finding Nemo subs and you'll be answering, "How many here?" before you know it.
Really, really bored and want some mindless distraction without much wait?
Hate to say it, but: Innoventions.
Amazingly, there's rarely much of a line for this continuously moving, self-guided tour attraction.
Have a blast in there.
If you can.
Little kids in your party not satisfied with Winnie the Pooh?
Scare the hell out of them with Snow White's Scary Adventures or Pinocchio.
The lines for these two Fantasyland classics are never terribly long---sorry, folks, these ain't no "Peter Pan" attractions.
For the five and under set, these two attractions can creative lifelong memories of dark, scary scenes involving skeletons and kids turning into donkeys.
They'll be scarred for life.
And, you don't have to wait long for the experience.
Okay, last one for today's stream-of-consciousness, post-from-the-hip: Jungle Cruise.
You guys shoulda seen THAT ONE coming.
Yep.
Jungle's line is rarely more than 10 minutes long---especially in the later afternoon.
It has a great cycle time, since they dump 40 people into a boat every minute or two and then quickly send a fresh, empty one to the dock for 40 more.
Grab an "Indy" FastPass and jump on the Jungle Cruise.
Say hi to the world's current best skipper, Kip, if you should be so lucky.
Wait for his boat, my friends.
That's some advice you'll thank me for.

For now, this is Mike saying: Keep your hands and arms inside the boat as we approach the dock.
Had an English teacher on board last week that put her hand out when we docked.
Now she teaches...

...shorthand.

---Mike

Disneyland - The Emporium Mall

The Emporium has always held a special place for me.
The little mall there that leads out to what is now the Carnation Cafe has always been charming. Thanks to Dave at davelandweb.com for posting the photograph above that shows the walkway, looking from north to south (i.e., from Carnation back toward the Emporium). The architectural details, inside and out, reflect the artistry and commitment of the builders, who wanted to capture the feeling of a turn of the century town.
As you walk out of the Emporium and down the corridor between the clock shop to your right and the toy shop to your left, you are immersed in a little slice of yesterday. Gingerbread carpentry details, high ceilings and crown molding create a feast for the eyes.
I particularly love the the old, curved glass awning that covers the doorway leading out onto West Center Street from the Emporium mall. The glass has criss-crossing lines of wire through it and the awning structure is capped with Main Street's famous light bulbs.
To your left are restrooms and behind those restrooms is the back stage walkway and the back side of the Jungle Cruise. As I recall, the dancing natives are near here, and, if you listen carefully, you can hear them chanting from over the Main Street rooftops.
The Emporium itself is a wonder of colors and Disneyana. Always has been.
Mugs, stuffed Mickeys, bumper stickers, plates, antenna balls, shirts, hats and related items fill the shelves and surround shoppers with Disneydom.
One should never pass up an opportunity to visit the Emporium while on Main Street.
It would be un-American!

---Mike

Disneyland - I Could Really Go For...

I could really go for...

...a hot cup of coffee at the Market House.

...one of the old fashioned strawberry ice cream sodas at the old Carnation Ice Cream Parlor on Main Street.

...a Lapu Lapu at the Tambu Lounge in the Polynesian Resort in Walt Disney World.

...a mint julep at the French Market counter in New Orleans Square.

...a long sit at the Hungry Bear, watching the river flow by.

...a warm, salted Pretzel at the Mile Long Bar in Bear Country.

...an air conditioned showing of the Country Bear Jamboree.

...a ride in the wheelhouse of the Mark Twain.

...a float from Tomorrowland, through the Matterhorn, and down into the Fantasyland station of the Skyway.

...a trip to the Park in 1967 (thanks, DisneyTim!).

...an Adventure Through Inner Space (thanks Amity Productions!).

and

...a "Steamboat" from the River Belle Terrace.


---Mike

Disneyland - Eisner - Still Missing You...

Michael Eisner was in my local paper recently, in an article about his being invited to speak at a local college's business school.

His lecture: "How To Turn A Warm Family Business Into A Global Corporate Machine That Occasionally Kills Guests While Waiting To Board The Columbia Or Riding Big Thunder" was not well attended, thankfully.

On seeing Einser's name, after choking back a bit of rising bile, I warmly recalled Roy Disney's campaign to have him ousted as chairman of the Walt Disney Company back in late 2003. Roy and his supporters set up "SaveDisney.com" and put on a media blitz to have Eisner removed by the board.

Here's a video Roy made at the time.



At the top of this post is a bumper sticker I got from an old friend of Roy Disney's.
He helped sail one of Roy's precious racing yachts, The Pyewacket IV, in a race event in Cork, Ireland, among other places.
After regaling me with stories of Roy and his sailing, I mentioned Eisner and the old SaveDisney campaign.
He said to me, "I still have some of the bumper stickers Roy was handing out."
"Really?" says I. "Might I have one??"

He gave me two.

I scanned one in and posted it above for you fine people.

Thankfully, the Eisner era came to an end before much more damage could be done to the Park.
I was definitely a shareholder carrying a pitchfork and a torch back then.

Then there's that park he helped build next door.
The folks at Disney now have to spend $2 billion just to make Eisner's "California Adventure" even remotely Disney-worthy.
It's like they were trying to make Walt spin in his grave when they originally designed that place!
It even had "Carney" rides and games, which Walt said he did not want!
I'm sorry, but I can ride a ferris wheel, swings, parachutes (ahem, "Jellyfish"), the cat and mouse coaster (er, um, "Mulholland Madness"), or throw balls at milk bottles at my local fairgrounds.
To be fair, I'll give them Soarin', Tower of Terror, Grizzly Rapids and Screamin'.
Okay, that's four (4).
Heck, I have that many readers for Goodness' sake!
Oh, and nice park layout.
I've never seen so many random walkways and shadeless expanses.
It's like Magic Mountain without the mountain or the youthful gang members.
Better yet, let's build a theme park in California that has as its main theme---California.
That's like going to Rome and visiting "Rome-land," instead of exploring The Eternal City itself.
Think that Golden Gate bridge thingy over the entrance to DCA comes anywhere close to the real thing??!!And Whoopi Goldberg was not exactly my image of the "Spirit of California."
Why not Rosie O'Donnell?
Barbara Walters?
Cher?

Sorry, I promised myself I would not to launch into one of my tirades.

Requiescat in pace, Roy.

---Mike

Disneyland - Thanks

As I look back at the years I've been going to the Park, I am grateful that there is a place like Disneyland in our world.
It is an odd fact that it exists, actually.
Uniquely American, it is international in its appeal.
It was creatively conceived, but delicately and precisely engineered.
A small world unto itself, it is tucked behind a large berm in the middle of modern Orange County.
From Main Street Americana to jungle rivers to ghosts and pirates, it plunges visitors into imaginative fantasy worlds that are at once real and completely made up.
I do not think it could have been built today.
The manner in which Walt and his team of artists, designers, architects and engineers went about creating, designing and then building the Park was unique to say the least.
Why is it so darn appealing, so deeply "connected," to so many people?
Nostalgia?
Escapism?
Dole Whip addiction?
Timelessness?
A powerful link to our youth?
Mint juleps?
I will never be able to frame a satisfactory answer.
Look at this silly blog.
How could one place inspire one person to post hundreds of times to four (4) people he hardly knows----(sorry, Mom, that wasn't meant for you!)?
If you told me---assuming no Disneyland existed---that I would spend time in a boat, going in a circle through jungle scenes, repeating tired old jokes to 30 to 40 people trapped on the vessel with me, and would somehow enjoy this experience enough to blog about it almost 25 years later...I think I would seriously question whether you had adequate control of your faculties. That is, I'd think you were nuts.
Most experiences in life that are repeated over and over become a bore or a chore or both.
Only truly good songs can we hear again and again, with each time sounding as great as the first time we heard it.
How many times have I been to the Park over my life?
I have really lost track.
Why is each time new and different?
Why isn't it "the same old Castle, the same old Main Street, the same boring old Matterhorn, the same old Pirates burning down the same old seaport?"
Really, if I went anywhere else on the planet as many times as I've been to the Park, I am quite sure it would get old and I would just stop going at some point.
Not Disneyland.
Not ever.
Go figure.
So, to Walt Disney, Harper Goff, Admiral Joe Fowler, X Atencio, Marc Davis, Sam McKim, Mary Blair, Marty Sklar, Tony Baxter, Bob Gurr, Rolly Crump, Claude Coats, Roger Broggie, Harriet Burns, Yale Gracey, John Hench, Herb Ryman, and the countless other talented folks who made the modern Park a real place for us to experience, I say thank you.
Thank you for this special place.
Thanks for doing the impossible because, "the impossible is fun," as Walt once famously said.
Here's to Disneyland!!

"That's all I've got to say about that." ---F. Gump

---Mike

Disneyland - That Empty Place Behind the Matterhorn

It is one of those places within the Park (and there aren't many) where things get a little drab.
Mundane.
Flat.
Nondescript.
Ho hum.
Everyday.
Not much happening.

Yes, I am speaking of the walkway directly south of the Matterhorn.
Tucked between the back side of what used to be the Circle Vision theater, and is now Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters, is a little stretch of nothingness.
To your left (as your approach the Submarine Lagoon from Main Street) rises the Matterhorn, with its wrought iron fence and various flora. The Monorail track runs through here on its final leg into the Tomorrowland station.
To your right...
...a wall.
And some tables that seem to have lost their way (they appear to have a distant connection to the Tomorrowland Terrace).

There is just not much happening here.
Not sure what they could do to spruce it up.
A mural maybe?
Mary Blair, wherefore art thou?
Some benches?
A character greet location? (I know, Tinkerbell's "Pixie Hollow" is but a stone's throw away).
A Swiss Chalet alpine painting?

From the time Walt decided to build a mountain on an old hill in this spot, the area between the back side of Tomorrowland and the southern base of the Matterhorn has always been kind of a "limbo."
Not quite Fantasy, not yet Tomorrow.
It is a thoroughfare.
Pedestrian.
Utilitarian.
Functional.
A place to pass through.
A corridor.

It is a fairly nice spot, though.
Usually shaded.
Consistently breezy.
I really haven't the foggiest idea what I'd put there, but it seems to beg for something more than presently exists.

I'll leave the floor open for comments, suggestions, observations, etc.
Subjects like this can get all four (4) of our readers into such a froth that their simultaneous postings almost crash the primitive server here at "Jungle is 101."

Something's going on up ahead!
Oooh! It looks VERY dangerous!
Lets get CLOSER!

---Mike