Thursday, March 18, 2010

Disneyland - Jungle Is "101" - A Brief Hello To Our 4 Readers

Good day, Jungle fans and Disneyland patrons.

We hail our blog followers today, be they from San Rafael, California, Las Vegas, Nevada, Salt Lake City, Utah or Mililani, Hawaii. Indeed, greetings are sent to visitors from as far away as Brisbane in Queensland, Australia, Colombo in Sri Lanka and the primeval forests of Florham Park, New Jersey.

How you all managed to find your way here, I'll never know. Of all the blog joints in all the towns in all the world, you walked into mine. Most stumble here, I suppose, from wayward Google and Yahoo searches.

An orthopaedic surgeon looking for a deal on "casts" gets directed here because of our frequent reference to "cast members" at Disneyland.

Many happen upon one of our many photographs of the Park and its Cast Members through a search of Google Images.

Others are looking for serious jungle tours and eco-adventures and get this site in a search result.

Oops. (But, we DO have piranhas. Strangest thing.)

However it was that you arrived in this corner of cyberspace, this much I can say to you without reservation:

Um, hi.

Come on in.
Can I get you anything?
A drink? A snack?
Make yourself at home.
It's good to see you.
How is your family?
My how you've grown!
Have a seat anywhere.
Sorry the place is a mess, but you would not believe the week we've had around here.
How long are you in town?
When is the last time you made it to Disneyland?

Seriously, we love our readers---especially our four (4) loyal readers (Hi, mom!).

You know who you are.

You are people with discernment.
Unrefined discernment, but discernment nevertheless.
You have an odd interest in the perspective of Disneyland cast members.
You have plenty of time on your hands.
You enjoy long walks on the beach at night.
During a rainstorm.
Wearing flippers and a snorkel.
Perhaps little else.
You rummage.
Through the Internet.
Through garage sales.
Through pawn shops, thrift stores and trash bins.
Perhaps you live with several cats, say 30.
You mumble to yourself repeatedly on street corners.
Aluminum foil wadded into spheroids fascinates you.
Your mind wanders.
Often for days at a time.
Some days, you never get out of your bathrobe,
yet you still make it to the grocery store.
You don't remember where you put your keys or if you took your medication.
Many of you, for some strange reason, are engineers, and therefore you do not dress well and have difficulty communicating with others.
Some collect things.
Like dried glue.
Or Ivory Soap wrappers.
Or flavored stationery (we're not sure about you guys).
One or two of you have been known to frequent 7-11 stores (but only at 6:00 a.m and Midnight---just so you can prove them wrong).
You work for great and storied institutions like Amgen, Southern Methodist University or Del Taco.
You are vaguely aware that someone is watching you.
For several of you, personal hygiene is important, but not a priority.
Some favor the great thinkers: Herman (as in "Pee Wee"), Spears (as in "Britney") and Cyrus (take your pick: Billy Ray or Miley).
You are bold.
Different.
Special.
Unsung.
Unrehearsed.
Unheralded.
Uncertain.
Bewildered.
Bemused.
Befuddled.
Bedraggled.
Aware.
Alert.
And oriented x3.
Your pupils are equal, round and reactive to light and accommodation (these last three are for you EMT and Emergency Room types) .
You reach for the stars.
You soon realize that they are enormous masses of incandescent gases, gigantic nuclear furnaces where hydrogen is made into helium at temperatures of millions of degrees and are light years away, so what the heck are you really reaching for here, hmmm?
You find yourself reading lengthy descriptions of you by random people on the Internet who do not even know you.
You are the future.
You are why we at "Jungle is 101" are paid so handsomely for these posts.

Thank you.
If you are on the Jungle side of the boat, stand up, turn around and you will be helped out by the rear.
Of the boat that is.
Ladies don't get agitated.
Those of you on the dock side, you'll be heading out the front doorway.
But don't go through our windows.
You'll get a window pain.
Trust me, it can be a shattering experience.
Heck, it could be curtains for you.
I "shutter" to think about it.
Bye now!

---Mike

12 comments:

beaniesue said...

Hee hee - I like garage sales and collecting things but definitely not flavored stationary :)

I know I found your blog through another Disney blog - maybe Davelandblog?

Sincerely,
Bemused and Alert

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You do know me, don't you.

Best to you.

JG

Skipper B said...

We are an odd group aren't we? Especially the CM's that follow (MEEEEE!!!!) but mostly I like the pictures, and the sketchy text that at my day work makes me look like I'm doing something wrong (well, I guess I am)

Oh yeah.... and my mind does wander around for days.... if you find it could you send it back, thanks.

Anonymous said...

You've done us former cast members and Skippers proud. And while I reside in Portland Oregon, I'm on business in Honolulu (honest!)

Okie said...

Thanks for another great post...I loved your categorizing of your readers. It definitely helped assure me that I'm in the right place. ;)

Mike said...

BeanieSue: You don't collect Beanie Babies by any chance do you? Keep bemused!

JG: Thanks for your comments on several posts. You are definitely someone who has figured out that the key to this blog is to start at the beginning and work backwards (since that is how I generally approach things myself). But, I would caution against those runs to the grocery store in your bathrobe---they're unsettling to Mrs. Johnson in aisle 6.

Anonymous--you again. Seems you post here frequently. Let's see: Portland, Honolulu...Portland, Honolulu. I'll go with Honolulu for 1,000, Alex. My only question to you is what will motivate you to return to Portland now that you've made it to Honolulu? Of course, those Oregonian dancing girls and swaying palm trees are hard to pass up.

Okie, my friend, what can I say? We've been through so much. I recall you enjoyed my deep thoughts on the "resurrection" themes in Park attractions---ah, Jungle theology. You have been a true supporter for quite some time and have made it to the Top Three of this blog's four (4) readers (sorry, Mom)! Congratulations! Unfortunately, we have no real award to hand you, but I've arranged for Trader Sam to dedicate his next human sacrifice in your honor. There's something you don't get every day!

To everyone: thanks for hanging in there are sticking with me. I know we'll make it back to civilization someday. Did anyone bring any extra mosquito repellent? These things are driving me insane!

Adam said...

Hey Mike,

I've commented a few times here, and I continue to get a huge kick out of your blog.

I've got sort of an odd question for you: My son is a sophomore in high school, and his life's goal is to one day become an Imagineer. Do you know of any way I could arrange for him to get a behind-the-scenes peek at the kind of work the electricians and mechanics and engineers do at the park, and maybe talk to someone who can tell him what he needs to study in order to make his dream a reality?

I'm not asking you to pull any strings or anything, just wondering if you know if there's any established program in place for things like this.

Thanks, and keep up the great work!

Mike said...

Adam:

You should get in touch with the folks in Glendale, California at Walt Disney Imagineering. They have a large facility there. I don't know if they have tours open to the public, but this would not be a surprise. Also, check our Disney's official website, starting with: http://corporate.disney.go.com/careers/who_imagineering.html.

Hope this helps!

Thanks for reading Jungle is 101!

---Mike

Nametag Museum said...

I always enjoy reading the posts here. Especially the photos with the cast members posing with the AA's on POTC.

Now if only all the current and former CM's would band together and help me find all the nametags I need for my Museum, the world would be a perfect place.

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

>=)

(Semi) New Skipper said...

Hey I read this! I went back and read every entry! I demand credit! haha kidding. I read of jungle lore and I become jealous. When I head into the jungle all I can think about it getting the lead to agree to jungle police and letting us do safaris. *sigh*

Qatgirl said...

I claim California and favor Herman (Pee-wee). I am proud to be one of the Four (4) Loyal Readers.

Love your writing, love your humour, love your blog.

Mike said...

Qatgirl:

You are a woman of discriminating taste, erudition and refinement. You clearly know high literary art when you see it. I am humbled by your readership and will continue to strive to provide content that elevates the spirit and the mind alike.

Oh, geez. I just stepped in hippo dung. Talk about bad timing! What was I saying?

Oh, yes...I will strive to provide good stuff to read, or something like that.

Thanks for the kind, kind words!!!

---Mike