Okay, I needed a quick topic for today, so I chose something fast---the fastest lines with shortest average wait times---without a FastPass.
This is not scientific and is not based upon actual data from the Park's operations department, but I'll bet I'm not too far off from the real wait time averages.
So, you're at the Park on an average day with about 35,000 of your fellow guests pounding the pavement with you.
You want to take in an attraction, but all the FastPasses are used up or you cannot wait for the next FastPass time to ride.
Where do you go for the shortest wait in line?
You want air conditioning?
Head to Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room or Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln. The shows run at regular intervals and even at their most crowded your wait time is like 15 minutes max.
You have young children?
Winnie the Pooh is waiting.
This queue consistently funnels guests into Pooh's adventures at a pretty good clip.
It's no Country Bear Jamboree, but such is life in modern Disneyland, my friends.
Folks in your group gung-ho for some roller coaster action?
Believe it or not, the Matterhorn beckons.
Especially when both sides of the mountain are running (as is usually the case), the Matterhorn queue---though it looks long, moves pretty quickly for an "E-Ticket" attraction. Jump in line by the Finding Nemo subs and you'll be answering, "How many here?" before you know it.
Really, really bored and want some mindless distraction without much wait?
Hate to say it, but: Innoventions.
Amazingly, there's rarely much of a line for this continuously moving, self-guided tour attraction.
Have a blast in there.
If you can.
Little kids in your party not satisfied with Winnie the Pooh?
Scare the hell out of them with Snow White's Scary Adventures or Pinocchio.
The lines for these two Fantasyland classics are never terribly long---sorry, folks, these ain't no "Peter Pan" attractions.
For the five and under set, these two attractions can creative lifelong memories of dark, scary scenes involving skeletons and kids turning into donkeys.
They'll be scarred for life.
And, you don't have to wait long for the experience.
Okay, last one for today's stream-of-consciousness, post-from-the-hip: Jungle Cruise.
You guys shoulda seen THAT ONE coming.
Jungle's line is rarely more than 10 minutes long---especially in the later afternoon.
It has a great cycle time, since they dump 40 people into a boat every minute or two and then quickly send a fresh, empty one to the dock for 40 more.
Grab an "Indy" FastPass and jump on the Jungle Cruise.
Say hi to the world's current best skipper, Kip, if you should be so lucky.
Wait for his boat, my friends.
That's some advice you'll thank me for.
For now, this is Mike saying: Keep your hands and arms inside the boat as we approach the dock.
Had an English teacher on board last week that put her hand out when we docked.
Now she teaches...